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Bully Elimination, Health, Advocacy, Violence Education

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Are you a Bullying Target or a Snowflake?

Posted by behavewellness on May 22, 2017
Posted in: Bullying, Student, toxic work environment. Tagged: academia, CRNA, graduate school, intern, med school, NP, nurse eat their young, nursing, nursing school, nursing student, PA, professor bullying. 2 Comments

We were invited to talk about bullying in healthcare by our good friend and author, Kati Kleber. Increasingly, we’ve all been asked to address this by nursing students feeling powerless in the classroom and in clinical settings. Similar to interns and graduate students, the common thread is continual evaluation by others higher on the totem pole–who themselves may be bullied by their superiors. We incorporated much of the current literature in our discussion on FreshRN, and some of it is surprising (and vicious).

So are we saying that not every nurse is as virtuous as the saintly one above? Bullying is surprisingly common in helping professions, even in churches. The top five bullying behaviors nursing students experience are nonverbal innuendos, verbal affront, undermining actions, withholding information, and sabotage. As opposed to being shoved on the playground, this sometimes requires perception and awareness of the social environment to even realize it’s happening. That’s why bullying is so common and devastating in learning environments. From a personal standpoint, several of us can remember times where we had to choose between learning 100% of the knowledge we needed for the day or being charming and socially adroit, because both required total concentration.

One reason that toxic learning environments are so consuming is the concept of a “snowflake”–an overly sensitive, dogmatic person, as opposed to six sided crystalline ice precipitation. It’s important to consider how other students are being treated, and how distant reality may be from our perceptions of being bullied. This is where others come in, although Behave Wellness would be better suited for that than a college ombudsperson (what do they do anyway?) or hospital HR department. Not that anyone’s life has been changed through a blog comment, but tell us your story below and we will do our best to help. Any professionals you use should be familiar with bullying so they can give you wise and relevant advice.

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Bullying in Healthcare–Gina’s Thoughts

Posted by behavewellness on March 23, 2017
Posted in: Bullying, Corporate Wellness, Employee Health. Leave a comment
Today we’re profiling the views of one of our founders about the profession the three of us work in every day.
My name is Gina Chiplonia-Swircek DNP, CRNA, PhD(c). I am Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA) and also a founding member of the company BEHAVE Wellness (Bullying, Elimination, Health Advocacy, and Violence Education). The topic of bullying in healthcare is a passion of mine and I am currently finishing my dissertation on the experiences of Student Registered Nurse Anesthetists (SRNAs) with Bullying while in their education and training program to become a CRNA. I am a United States Air Force veteran CRNA and currently employed by a fairly large anesthesia group in the Philadelphia area and also provide independent anesthesia services to many surgical and gastroenterology centers throughout Pennsylvania.

Bullying Affects Performance and Finances

Bullying in healthcare is an increasingly complex issue and is repeated, health harming mistreatment ranging from verbal abuse and humiliation to threats, sabotage, and worse. The well-being of nurses is directly correlated to bullying behaviors. Attention needs to return to the nurse’s health; as a “Health Care” industry we seem to have forgotten kindness and concern for our own.
Ignoring this behavior is unethical, expensive, and affects teamwork and collaboration between nurses, physicians and other departments necessary for multidisciplinary care of our customers–patients. They may become indirect victims of nurse bullying. This destructive activity can compromise patient’s safety when they are already in a vulnerable state. Distractions have serious potential to harm patients.
Targets are often individuals who are well liked, highly educated, morally and ethically correct, non-aggressive, and do their job well. Many Targets “self-blame,” when in reality, they did nothing to provoke the bullying behavior and abuse. This can prevent Targets from taking steps to end the bully’s psychological violence and can spiral into self-destruction.
Above all, when confronted with workplace bullying, your health and well-being need to come first. Maintaining wellness is of paramount importance. As each of us are individuals, so are the paths to recovery and wellness. Each target must define “happiness” for themselves. Some wellness activities that may help with healing can include journaling, meditation, yoga, exercise, doing volunteer activities, eating healthy and taking part in other personal hobbies.
If you know a Target at your institution, you can act as a source of support by being an empathetic and nonjudgmental listener to the Target’s reality. Confirming and validating their story is significant. Educating and encouraging Targets to document what is happening to them, obtaining other co-workers’ experiences, and referring them to outside sources of advice such as a therapist and/or attorney will assist in the healing process.
Workplace employee wellness and human resources departments may not always be beneficial places of support for bullied nurses. Ultimately they work for the corporation and have their best interest in mind, not yours. An oppressive work culture can often extend past the barriers of a nursing unit.

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Deflecting Personal Questions at Work

Posted by behavewellness on March 4, 2017
Posted in: Bullying, Corporate Wellness, Healthy Work Strategies. Tagged: authentic self, boss, cheat sheet, curious, HR, nosy coworkers, nosy manager, office, passive aggressive, true to you, uncomfortable work situation, vulnerable. 1 Comment
The Office--NBC

The Office–NBC

We recently assisted Cheat Sheet with the topic, “How to Answer These 6 Questions from your Nosy Coworkers“. If you read the article, make sure to click on “View All” for a better reading experience. The problem is that we previously noticed a similar question posed on a Facebook group for healthcare professionals, and most of the answers consisted of bullying and shaming the curious coworker into pensive submission. That’s kinda the opposite of what we’re all about here at BEHAVE Wellness.

That doesn’t mean it’s wrong to use the situation to get your jollies, as evidenced by Nick’s most cherished comeback when confronted with a bullying intruding coworker attempting unsettling questions: “I look really serious and say things like, ‘Cheetahs can only charge at 65 mph for about a quarter mile, but the key is in the flexibility of their spine.’ They get unsettled trying to find the passive or aggressive meaning behind my nonsensical statement and leave me alone. Forever.”

Cheetah Run

While we don’t typically advocate messing with people’s minds by discussing feline hunting attributes, this situation is usually one you’ll have to creatively handle yourself. Unless the perpetrator starts asking, “Why don’t you look as pretty as you used to,” most intentionally Nosy Nancy’s are crafty enough to avoid questions that could send them to HR or the boss’s office. Trying to be passive-aggressive won’t help, and “putting them in their place” only contributes to a toxic work environment. Another pitfall is trying too hard–remember that your coworker may be innocently curious. Is it really worth it to take focus away from work to craft perfect answers that won’t reveal personal information but serve to move them right along? Feel free to answer that question in the comments.

Oh, here are some other ideas if sounding like a Discovery Channel narrator somehow doesn’t get the job done. Excuse yourself. Give boring or vague answers. Ask, “Why do you want to know?” Respond with your own personal question–this serves to gauge the questioners intent. Respond with humor or be straight-forward about the fact that you don’t like being asked personal questions. As that last sentence highlights, we really believe in staying true to ourselves. Our most authentic self is the only sustainable one, so try to lead in a manner consistent with who you are, rather than striving to be plain spoken or assertive or funny and spontaneous.

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Barry and Joe’s Friendly Workplace

Posted by behavewellness on January 15, 2017
Posted in: Employee Health, Healthy Work Strategies. Tagged: bullying strategies, burnout, dressing your truth, fun at work, intimacy, medal of freedom, vulnerability, work balance, work friends, workplace violence. 1 Comment

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A reporter recently asked us about relationships in the workplace. It has always been our firm belief that isolation is a formidable weapon for bullies except in the face of trusting, authentic work friendships. We recently reviewed cupping and other wellness therapies, but why bother with all that if you can  just goof off with your work buddies?

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We tend to over complicate in our culture. All the wellness initiatives and brilliant relationship help from people like us tends to be irrelevant if you can just be part of a healthy team–hopefully one more qualified than the tug of war team above who lost in five seconds flat.  And that brings us to Obama and Biden.

Unlike his two most recent predecessors, President Obama’s personality seems to draw strength from solitude instead of the presence of others. It would make sense for him to withdraw from the sincere but admittedly bumbling nature of his vice president. Whether or not we agree with their policies, we can clearly see that Obama and Biden decided to compliment each other’s traits rather than push for conformity–a looser President or more scripted VP. Realize that in the workplace, those who seem to share the least in common with you may become your greatest allies. We refuse to start spouting off “synergy” and other buzzwords,  but success comes easier when employees are enjoying themselves.

Measured Vulnerability

What if the enjoyment stops when we start competing for a position or the boss’s favor? The wise action when pursuing friendships with coworkers is to match vulnerability. If you are talking about how the last meeting made you feel deep inside but your coworker’s conversation is as intimate as the last company newsletter, someone must adjust. Always leave the door open to go deeper, because if toxicity or bullying enters the workplace, employees feel trapped unless they already have coworkers with whom they can share their situation openly and freely. Have you had an experience like that? Start today by not automatically answering, “Fine” when asked about your weekend, but take it slow: no need to start with,

“Michelle made me sleep on the couch in the Oval Office for smoking behind her back and I think Malia’s hurt and angry that I blamed that weird smell from Sunny the dog on her.”

Lastly, the effects from a warm office friendship ripple past the two of you. For proof, look no farther than the “Barry and Joe” memes that are still the best thing online.

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Related imageImage result for barry and joe memes

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Saving your Lunch Money from Bullies

Posted by behavewellness on April 14, 2016
Posted in: Finance, Healthy Work Strategies, toxic work environment. Tagged: acuff, bond ladder, Finance, high yield, lendingclub, P2P, prosper, ramsey, REIT, rental, seedinvest, startengine, student debt, student loan, tax shelter, toxic workplace, treasury, wellness, whole life insurance, work balance. Leave a comment

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Security does not bring joy. A full bank account does not equal peace in your soul. Much of what we advocate is holistic change on the inside to better cope with life struggles and work stress. However, setting your financial house in order lessens the risk of getting stuck in a toxic work environment with no way out. You can read the full post from Nick about preparing financially for the next step in your career at nurseeyeroll.com and follow our friend Kati (and us too, while you’re at it) on Facebook, Twitter, etc. More info is available in the book How to Succeed in Anesthesia School (And RN, PA, or Med School).

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1.  Live Poor

At what point should you start denying yourself the simple pleasures of four dollar coffee or blowing a hundred bucks every weekend?  When do you really need to start saving?  The truth is, it could take decades to dig yourself out of debt if you don’t take the necessary steps now.  There is absolutely no point in putting yourself and your loved ones through years of essentially monastic living if you’ll still be living paycheck to paycheck with a higher salary once you graduate. Currently, student loans are at such low rates that financing your life with them (and skipping the next few rambling paragraphs) is a viable option.  I previously recommended that students pay off their undergraduate loans before starting anesthesia or nurse practitioner school, but it’s an individual decision.  As much as it depends on you, keep your other debts to a minimum.  For example, don’t make illegitimate children—child support really adds up.  Chronic illnesses tend to be expensive too, although avoiding carcinogens may be more difficult than wearing seat belts, selling your motorcycle, or resisting the urge to sled down an icy hill on a skateboard.  The last time I had such an urge, I at least had the presence of mind to increase my life and disability insurance first–which is a must if you have a family, once you get that MSN or whichever degree you’re striving for.

2. Get Grants

If you have a high GPA or an interesting characteristic (e.g. Navajo and Guatemalan heritage), the first step is to look for scholarships and grants.  Regardless of the angle I tried, no one accepted my Greekness as any race or ethnicity other than Dark White.  My GPA and essay skills were good enough to justify the time I spent submitting scholarship applications instead of working at “Niko’s House of Gyro and Lamb”.  There really is no such place in my hometown, but if there were, I’d eat there twice a week.  To be honest, I never did find a single grant or scholarship to fund anesthesia school, and all my undergraduate scholarships combined were laughable had I gone anywhere but the local public university.  That brings up my third point.

3. Consider Cheaper Schools

The prestige of your alma mater is at best a tiny variable for your success in healthcare.  A more affordable education is not like buying generic, one ply toilet paper.  This isn’t business school, where networking is more important than what you learn. You’ll take the same boards after you graduate as someone at a more prestigious school, so the cost difference between graduate nursing programs is a major factor.  The luxury of choice is admittedly rare unless you have a high GPA and the ability to skillfully articulate your clinical skills during interviews.  Look at the value of a school, taking into consideration your personal support system, and the school’s cost and reputation.  Talking to previous graduates will also illuminate whether you’re getting a great deal or if the school resembles that fabulous Groupon to a restaurant that gave me food poisoning.  Just like warmed milk of magnesia mixed with prune juice matters more than a handful of raisins, a nursing school’s reputation from previous students matters a great deal more than US News and World Report rankings or any other comparable data.  A small school can’t offer you the cutting edge research, tools, and surgeries found at a large academic institution.  A large school is less likely to expose you to the autonomous experience of a practitioner in rural America without any backup.  So, if you’ve always dreamed of practicing in the heart of New York City, the University of Iowa’s program might not be the best fit.

4. Invest Wisely

So what should you do with your money?  Transferring loans from one 0% interest credit card to another can work for a while, unless you make a single. life-altering mistake at 30% interest.  Once you run out of public and private low interest loans, websites such as lendingclub.com have much better terms than credit cards and also work well as high interest (and high risk) investments if you are fortunate enough to save money.  Obviously, risking money you need for next semester’s tuition or next week’s canned soup is a bad idea once you’re in school, on par with investing all your money in foreign stocks the day before you retire.  Some research on your part is necessary to avoid investing in the “Anesthesia Student Wire Transfer Fund of Northwest Potiskum”.  I lived on 20% of my income as a nurse and saved the rest for anesthesia school, but my quality of life was only slightly above a vegetative state.  For 2016, a high yield bond ladder is my latest advice, as it can replace what certificates of deposit did for me ten years ago.  You’ll need some advice to avoid companies with bankruptcy risks, however.

5. Explore Side Gigs

A friend of mine still works part time as a fireman because of the health insurance and pension plan, while another nurse I know works at an upscale restaurant on the weekends because his large tips exceed the money he’d earn working those hours as a nurse.  I developed ways to make passive income, since time is so precious during graduate school.  Despite the multiple books and articles I’ve written, I’m typically more likely to donate blood than buy a book or subscription off the Internet. Stay focused on your goals because few people in American culture have a concrete idea of exactly how much money is enough.  The love of learning may dim when it contributes to your debt but not your paycheck!
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P.S. With help from fellow nurse anesthetist Peter Strube, our long-awaited continuing education article about reducing bullying has just been published by Advance!

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Leaving Work Stress at Work

Posted by behavewellness on February 23, 2016
Posted in: Corporate Wellness, toxic work environment. Tagged: employee health, group therapy, meetup, mindfulness, postal, self publish, stress, toxic workplace, wellness, work balance, work stress, writing. 2 Comments

We thought “Combating Work Stress” was a catchy title for this post, but combat itself is stressful. This topic came up recently because the three of us wrote a Continuing Education article about workplace bullying. We’ll post the link in the Media section once it’s published. Rather than discuss definitions and the statistical prevalence of various bullying behaviors, we devoted most of the paper to practical ways to increase wellness and resilience regardless of one’s workplace situation.

One useful method is to find camaraderie outside of work. For example, nurses tend to obtain support during bullying situations from their coworkers, which doesn’t work very well if gossip and rumors are the weapons of bullying. Social support is necessary to combat bullying and work stress, but how do you grow your own? Enter Meetup.com. It’s not a perfect solution, and the cost to run a Meetup group is embarrassing compared to free services such as Facebook groups. However, the site and app does allow people to find those in their geographic area with similar interests, whether that be yoga, theater, or in today’s example, writing. Nick recently published a book of medical satire and other short stories in collaboration with a dozen authors who are also in his Pensacola  Meetup group.

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The solution isn’t for someone to clutter the rest of their lives as an escape mechanism so they only have time to think about work at work.  Staying ridiculously busy isn’t too different of a philosophy than drinking alcohol to (unsuccessfully) escape stressful situations. Some of us have jobs that do occasionally require preparedness that begins before work. Rather, maintain a healthy work-life balance. Remembering long term goals and keeping everything in perspective prevents us from spinning on the proverbial hamster wheel. This brings up the topic of mindfulness and living in the present. More on that next time.

 

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Don’t Muzzle the #Michigan68 !

Posted by behavewellness on December 17, 2015
Posted in: toxic work environment. Tagged: corporate bullying, CRNA, merger, MI68, outsource. Leave a comment

The broader themes of workplace bullying, sloppy attempts at merger and acquisitions, and employee expectations of honesty are at work in this standoff between nurse anesthetists, their hospital, and the corporation that “bought” them. #Michigan68 What else would you like to know about the situation?

isabeljulieannagmailcom's avatarnursing power, practice and perspectives

Thoughts of holidays and good will toward men lead me to believe that the #Michigan68 would be successful this week in negotiating a reasonable contract with the ostensible new employer PSJ and Providence/Providence Park administrators. Not so.

It is disappointing to report that a fair and just contract was not able to be reached, and the CRNAs have pledged to keep working for the hospital system until a new vendor/contractor can be found who will negotiate with them in good faith. They are upholding the standards of nursing by caring for their patients in a professional, safe, and dedicated manner. Their fate, however, is still in peril.

Even more so now that they are individually and collectively being threatened with lawsuits MERELY FOR TELLING THE TRUTH. Well I am telling it as loud as I can, and hope you will pass this along and do the same. We MUST INSIST…

View original post 65 more words

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Free Prozac from Employee Health!

Posted by behavewellness on November 14, 2015
Posted in: Corporate Wellness, Employee Health, toxic work environment. Tagged: acuff, bully, corporate, corporate challenge, Cymbalta, do over, employee health, HR, karo jisatsu, Paxil, postal, psych screening, SSRI, toxic workplace. Leave a comment

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Expanding wellness for employees is a noble and necessary task. Many large corporations we’ve visited post signs telling employees they can confidentially talk to someone in employee health about their problems and receive free psychiatric screening. It’s not that America’s workforce is routinely committing suicide or going postal over their jobs, but it’s difficult to attract good talent to replace those who couldn’t take it anymore and abruptly quit. The problem is that without a holistic approach, nothing changes. The treatment of dissatisfied employees is like typical pain management in this country: “Here’s a pill that will cover up your symptoms for a while, so leave us alone.”

Tweet: Dissatisfied employees are treated like pain management patients: Here’s a pill to cover up symptoms for a while–leave us alone. @Behavewellness

Disclaimer

Although we are going to briefly talk about alternative medicine today, this isn’t one of those seemingly normal blog posts that suddenly disintegrate into calling all pharmaceuticals poisonous. They can and do work effectively as part of an overall plan for wellness. It’s important to note, however, that many antidepressants, anxiolytics, and other drugs meant to fix altered brain chemistry are primarily for symptoms with unknown etiology–meaning that you feel bad but it’s not linked to a specific situation in your life. Drill down to the root cause. Otherwise, you might accept a new job elsewhere, but your Zoloft is going with you.

zoloft

So what is a holistic approach to taking care of yourself at work? Litigation, complaining to HR, and changing jobs aren’t always options, and they certainly won’t decrease stress in the short term. Medications potentially affecting alertness can decrease performance, so we’ve ruled out that approach as a magic bullet. It takes a combination of therapies and a philosophy that understands that physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects are all one: compartmentalizing work life doesn’t work long term.

With that in mind, read this article by one of our founders comparing complementary and alternative medicine to conventional philosophies.  http://nursing.advanceweb.com/CE/TestCenter/Content.aspx?CourseID=1178&CreditID=1&CC=287295&sid=3835

Solutions

Maybe a relaxing magnesium drink or Epsom salt bath will help you unwind better than the wine you’re dependent on. Perhaps probiotics and a better diet can level out your energy levels throughout the day better than multiple cups of coffee. For others, yoga and Eastern medicine provide an outlet for work stress, or corporate sport events like the one pictured below. We at BEHAVE Wellness are here for you, and unlike employee health, it’s not for the ultimate goal of making you as profitable as possible for the company. How do you keep yourself from becoming overburdened by work?

ymca

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What is Bullying?

Posted by behavewellness on August 17, 2015
Posted in: Bullying, Corporate Wellness. Tagged: bullying, corporate bullying, employee health, horizontal violence, HR, jerk, postal, Tim Field Foundation, Workplace Bullying Institute, workplace violence. 3 Comments

Bullying doesn’t necessarily take place when someone gets offended. After all, in today’s world, “offended” often means “have a different point of view.” Because different opinions exist to describe seemingly simple situations, it’s important to understand what bullying is. The Tim Field Foundation defines bullying as conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a reasonable code of conduct, and whose likely or actual cumulative effect is to threaten, undermine, constrain, humiliate or harm another person or their property, reputation, self-esteem, self-confidence or ability to perform.

The Workplace Bullying Institute calls it repeated, health-harming mistreatment by one or more people of an employee: abusive conduct which is verbal abuse, threats, intimidation, humiliation, work interference, sabotage,  or a combination of any or all. Incivility or disrespect are more gentle synonyms for bullying, while horizontal violence and lateral violence refer to mistreatment from fellow coworkers or managers and supervisors.

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Now let’s define another half dozen terms so you can tell if you’re being bullied. Actually, that’s not necessary because even when we couldn’t define it (probably around kindergarten), we’ve all known when we’ve been treated unfairly. As busy adults, sometimes we need to slow down to fully comprehend a hostile work situation. It’s more subtle because no one is throwing dodgeballs at your head and stealing lunch money.

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Are you being bullied? Bullying takes on many forms in the workplace and signs and
symptoms vary. All of a “sudden” is your work not good enough? Are you accused of incompetence despite a history of objective excellence? Do you find yourself feeling sick to your stomach the night before work or obsess about work on your days off? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in a bullying situation. Tell us your experiences in the comments. We’ll explain what do do next in a later post, but besides our website, the Workplace Bullying Institute is a wonderful reference.

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Recess Isn’t Over

Posted by behavewellness on February 16, 2015
Posted in: Bullying, Employee Health. Tagged: attrition, bullying, corporate bullying, dodge ball, incivility, recess, target, wellness. 1 Comment

A Peculiar First Blog Post

This isn’t conventional. Normally, websites launch with vision statements, enthusiastic projections arching from today to the glorious future, moving personal stories, or at least a professional list of how indispensable they are. Instead, here’s a strange picture.

Somepeoplenevergrowup

The truth is, some of us never grow up. I haven’t, obviously, but I’m referring to bullying behaviors not much different from picking on the weirdest kid in dodge ball. Unfortunately, knowing how to deal with these playground issues is much harder as adults. The bell won’t ring to signal the end of recess or PE. Retirement is a lot farther away than graduation from the sixth grade, especially if you find yourself constantly biting your tongue or bravely defending yourself from perceived attacks. So, what’s the best response?

Getting some friends together and beating up the bully would be hard to explain at your next job interview. Besides, responding with similar behavior would be visibly hypocritical. We can’t really tell the teachers about the problem, and there’s a reason one of our taglines here at BEHAVE Wellness is “Human Resources That Won’t Tell on You.”

What weapons do you use to fight bullying, targeting, and sabotage? Let me know in the comments–you might even find a satire story there based on the idea of basing work decisions on childish games. Even more formidable than a slightly deflated dodge ball (those sting more, you know) is knowledge. Know your policies, rights, and who you can trust. Find helpful resources such as the one you’re reading now, and get to know yourself. What makes you tick and what ticks you off? Conquering self-bullying tactics and toxic emotions is pivotal. Even if we’re only good at catching, or throwing, or dodging the ball, remember that recess is supposed to be fun, even in the corporate world.

If you have questions, check out our FAQs on the Contact page or email us your own. Learn more about the founding members of BEHAVE Wellness on the Bios page and find helpful links and tips on our Twitter and Facebook. Make sure to subscribe on the right to catch all of our blog posts!

–Nick

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