Along with other accomplished nurse anesthetists, Nick and Shannon are presenting at a conference live on Instagram. Topics include finances, wellness, bullying, and strategies to accomplish one of our mantras: don’t graduate alone.
Don’t graduate alone has two parts. The first: graduate. All the activism and speaking your truth and resilience won’t matter without actually accomplishing your goal. The second: if you do graduate, but lose all the important relationships in your life in the process, it’s not a win. The whole point of navigating from nurse aide to registered nurse to advanced practice is an increased quality of life. For more on that, here’s a video about mental health strategies and relying on support systems appropriately.
Our topics also apply to entrepreneurship and disciplines where the challenges make traditional views of work-life balance untenable, so you’re more than welcome to join us and get your questions answered. Through the practices Shannon will teach us, students can better become steel snowflakes: intricate, individual, fully present, but with sharp edges that do not melt when faced with adversity. Nick’s steel snowflake theory emphasizes brutal self-reflection coupled with the grace to learn and make mistakes as we live an authentic life of meaning. We’ll also be teaching from the many resources we’ve developed at BEHAVE Wellness as we strike that balance between self-care and serving others. The conference is free, so be sure to invite your friends!
Since all three of us are nurse anesthetists, we expected clients from healthcare once we launched our business, especially since we’ve written research articles, textbook chapters, and now books about various aspects of healthcare and wellness. We thought questions would come from our guest posts about bullying among nurses, or the nuances of work culture as we’ve discussed on FreshNP. To our surprise, the same two themes orbit work issues in the hospital OR, at McDonald’s, and in the cubicles with a pointy-haired boss: relationships and finances.
As much as we stress leaving work at work and home at home, the two overlap substantially. If they desperately need the money, employees will accept far more abuse at work than someone already ambivalent about their job. Perceived lack of support from a spouse or loved one amplifies unintentional slights at work to full-blown rejection. Self-care and wellness techniques help realign our perceptions closer to reality, limiting miscommunication and awkward misunderstandings. Work is inherently awkward, like any other activity where at least one party is only present because they are being paid to do so (think Uber, Airbnb, or that boy you bought pizza at lunch every Friday for a month so he’d go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with you).
For a good time every time, observe other people’s awkwardness for a minute. That’s what much of How to Succeed in Anesthesia School is about–prospective students and seasoned clinicians quickly mastering social dynamics so they can concentrate on the next step on their career path. The quirky humor and irreverent satire may seem at odds with what BEHAVE Wellness stands for, but learning should be hilarious whenever possible. We’ve learned that a stiff, walk-on-eggshells work environment always has more problems than a cheerful place with blundering, authentic goofballs. Besides:
We should really eat before writing these posts. Subscribe on the right with your email address, and you’ll get these witty compliments every time we write a new post. So, besides new information on debt and investing wisely (but not necessarily conservatively–see our Bitcoin post) and balancing a successful career as a caregiver with satisfying, deep relationships, what else does the book teach? Topics include selecting a healthcare specialty, interviewing well, and the best ways to transform theoretical knowledge into something practical for patients. Lest it get too annoying and upbeat, one of the chapters is titled “Picking up the Charred Remains after you Crash and Burn”, not too dissimilar from the section “Cutting your Losses” in the relationships chapter. Best of all, this project comes with a free audiobook version narrated by the author. For the three Americans who don’t have Amazon to buy a paperback or Kindle version, purchase a similar Nook/iBook/PDF here:
We were invited to talk about bullying in healthcare by our good friend and author, Kati Kleber. Increasingly, we’ve all been asked to address this by nursing students feeling powerless in the classroom and in clinical settings. Similar to interns and graduate students, the common thread is continual evaluation by others higher on the totem pole–who themselves may be bullied by their superiors. We incorporated much of the current literature in our discussion on FreshRN, and some of it is surprising (and vicious).
So are we saying that not every nurse is as virtuous as the saintly one above? Bullying is surprisingly common in helping professions, even in churches. The top five bullying behaviors nursing students experience are nonverbal innuendos, verbal affront, undermining actions, withholding information, and sabotage. As opposed to being shoved on the playground, this sometimes requires perception and awareness of the social environment to even realize it’s happening. That’s why bullying is so common and devastating in learning environments. From a personal standpoint, several of us can remember times where we had to choose between learning 100% of the knowledge we needed for the day or being charming and socially adroit, because both required total concentration.
One reason that toxic learning environments are so consuming is the concept of a “snowflake”–an overly sensitive, dogmatic person, as opposed to six sided crystalline ice precipitation. It’s important to consider how other students are being treated, and how distant reality may be from our perceptions of being bullied. This is where others come in, although Behave Wellness would be better suited for that than a college ombudsperson (what do they do anyway?) or hospital HR department. Not that anyone’s life has been changed through a blog comment, but tell us your story below and we will do our best to help. Any professionals you use should be familiar with bullying so they can give you wise and relevant advice.