Student

Steel Snowflake Mindfulness

Posted by behavewellness on September 12, 2020
Posted in: Bullying, Finance, Healthy Work Strategies, Self Care, Student, toxic work environment. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Along with other accomplished nurse anesthetists, Nick and Shannon are presenting at a conference live on Instagram. Topics include finances, wellness, bullying, and strategies to accomplish one of our mantras: don’t graduate alone.

Don’t graduate alone has two parts. The first: graduate. All the activism and speaking your truth and resilience won’t matter without actually accomplishing your goal. The second: if you do graduate, but lose all the important relationships in your life in the process, it’s not a win. The whole point of navigating from nurse aide to registered nurse to advanced practice is an increased quality of life. For more on that, here’s a video about mental health strategies and relying on support systems appropriately.

Our topics also apply to entrepreneurship and disciplines where the challenges make traditional views of work-life balance untenable, so you’re more than welcome to join us and get your questions answered. Through the practices Shannon will teach us, students can better become steel snowflakes: intricate, individual, fully present, but with sharp edges that do not melt when faced with adversity. Nick’s steel snowflake theory emphasizes brutal self-reflection coupled with the grace to learn and make mistakes as we live an authentic life of meaning. We’ll also be teaching from the many resources we’ve developed at BEHAVE Wellness as we strike that balance between self-care and serving others. The conference is free, so be sure to invite your friends!

For Sure No

Posted by behavewellness on November 11, 2019
Posted in: Bullying, Corporate Wellness, Healthy Work Strategies, Self Care, Student. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

John Crist and Duplicity of Intention

Several days ago, reports surfaced that popular comedian John Crist isn’t as harmless and wholesome as the Christian persona he portrays–although perhaps the above .gif should have been a clue. Allegations of sexual manipulation, harassment and coercion, and what he admits as “destructive and sinful behavior” continue to come from multiple women.

At BEHAVE, we typically focus on bullying rather than sexual harassment. In many of these cases, opposing camps set up their preferred narratives and hashtags in advance, and the individual stories of exploitation become minefields riddled with casualties from the insensitive. But, this issue is especially important as we enter the holiday season. Stress increases, people let their guard down, and holiday parties combine alcohol and power imbalances. Just because you share a cubicle wall with that co-worker all year doesn’t mean you know and should trust them deeply.

That’s what we mean by the “duplicity of intention.” People may have much different goals than the ones they portray publicly. Although they felt weird about what was happening, several of the women involved with John Crist thought he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate. “What is your intention this evening?” might not be the smoothest start to a date, but it’s certainly something to keep in mind. We’re reminded of Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink,” which explains how sometimes we need to trust our gut to analyze a situation and form conclusions different from what our conscious mind can process. (For more about the conscious mind and the sense of self, see our previous post).

No Simple Solutions, But…

The answer is not to stand stiffly with pepper stray in hand at the first sign of an awkward social situation, nor is it to compartmentalize life into Tinder and non-Tinder (or non-Christian Mingle). The John Crist story documents numerous instances over many years. It seems that a majority of the woman expected to harmlessly flirt with a celebrity they admired. Because of the Christian culture shared with John Crist, they anticipated side rails, airbags–whatever metaphor best describes safety systems in place.

Pathetic as it sounds, we have to build our own guardrails, and we’re not speaking to potential victims only. Bosses, pastors, even social media personalities need to implement accountability systems they can’t thwart. What use is an ineffective boundary? If I fall, I want a sturdy nylon net to catch me, not a waffle fry from Chick-Fil-A. As we’ve seen, a false sense of security increases the chance for harm. Start with finding one person you can trust to call you out. There’s much more that we could add for the sake of completeness, but what are your thoughts?

Lastly, if someone has shown destructive patterns, believe them. Is your boss pushy, refusing to take no for an answer at work? Why would they be any different late at night when everyone else has left the office party? Don’t tolerate it. Before you give someone a second chance, wait to see a change in behavior. Otherwise…

 

Critical Doing

Posted by behavewellness on January 28, 2019
Posted in: Corporate Wellness, Employee Health, Healthy Work Strategies, Self Care, Student. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Healthcare is all about “critical thinking,” which occasionally prevents us from getting stuff done and actually healing patients. Click the picture to take our new course about communication and acting on properly processed information. That’s a major challenge at any workplace: removing the distorted lens of perception and seeing things as they are. Is the boss terrible, or does corporate culture just place that mantle of ineptitude on everyone in leadership? Are coworkers clear and brutally honest, or are you being bullied? And finally, do I really use phrases like “mantle of ineptitude” when internally asking myself questions? Yes.

Our last post discussed the importance of outside perspectives, but let me illustrate with a story how to achieve a more holistic viewpoint. I (Nick) rent out my house as part of the snowbird process. The final step will be driving 20 miles under the speed limit wherever I go. It’s surprisingly difficult to clean your house for others, because I’m used to my own mess. I mopped the floors and polished the furniture, but almost missed coffee stains on the kitchen cabinets. They’ve probably been there a while, but long ago my brain told my eyes, “There’s nothing to see here. Let’s concentrate on other things.” Take a step back and will your mind to see things for the first time. It may be an emotional undercurrent at the office, or an automatic response to a seemingly neutral stimulus, or even the way coworkers treat certain employees without apparent cause. Notice normal reactions and those that seem out of place. Culture is extremely powerful, especially during times of conflict, stress, and grief. I read a story today of a funeral home simultaneously hosting calling hours for an American–stoic, somber, whispers of dull platitudes such as “God needed an angel” and a Filipino–kids climbing around the casket, people talking loudly, etc. We revert to traditional ways of doing things, and it’s helpful to ask the simple question, “Why?” Why is the best for the patient, client or customer, and why do we think this way is the best way? None of us could work effectively turning over every stone inquisitively, but pick your battles and see what you uncover.

Latest and Greatest

Our new course isn’t the only project we’ve been working on. “Critical Doing” is certainly entertaining, especially the interactive videos filmed underwater in Greece and Florida (very relevant to the nursing process), during hurricanes, and while wandering around forests and crowded malls. We are starting a pain and mental health clinic in Akron, Ohio. We have about a dozen employees, and it’s past time to stop talking about corporate wellness and see if we can actual materialize our idealistic views. By putting employees first, we hope their joy will be contagious and lead to much better patient outcomes than the current cookie-cutter methods of care. We’ll continue to update you all on our progress, triumphs, and failures as we do our part to change the broken healthcare system and practice critical doing.

 

 

Book Release!

Posted by behavewellness on January 19, 2018
Posted in: Bullying, Corporate Wellness, Employee Health, Finance, Healthy Work Strategies, Self Care, Student, toxic work environment. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

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Since all three of us are nurse anesthetists, we expected clients from healthcare once we launched our business, especially since we’ve written research articles, textbook chapters, and now books about various aspects of healthcare and wellness. We thought questions would come from our guest posts about bullying among nurses, or the nuances of work culture as we’ve discussed on FreshNP. To our surprise, the same two themes orbit work issues in the hospital OR, at McDonald’s, and in the cubicles with a pointy-haired boss: relationships and finances.

As much as we stress leaving work at work and home at home, the two overlap substantially. If they desperately need the money, employees will accept far more abuse at work than someone already ambivalent about their job. Perceived lack of support from a spouse or loved one amplifies unintentional slights at work to full-blown rejection. Self-care and wellness techniques help realign our perceptions closer to reality, limiting miscommunication and awkward misunderstandings. Work is inherently awkward, like any other activity where at least one party is only present because they are being paid to do so (think Uber, Airbnb, or that boy you bought pizza at lunch every Friday for a month so he’d go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with you).

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For a good time every time, observe other people’s awkwardness for a minute. That’s what much of How to Succeed in Anesthesia School is about–prospective students and seasoned clinicians quickly mastering social dynamics so they can concentrate on the next step on their career path. The quirky humor and irreverent satire may seem at odds with what BEHAVE Wellness stands for, but learning should be hilarious whenever possible. We’ve learned that a stiff, walk-on-eggshells work environment always has more problems than a cheerful place with blundering, authentic goofballs.  Besides:

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We should really eat before writing these posts. Subscribe on the right with your email address, and you’ll get these witty compliments every time we write a new post. So, besides new information on debt and investing wisely (but not necessarily conservatively–see our Bitcoin post) and balancing a successful career as a caregiver with satisfying, deep relationships, what else does the book teach? Topics include selecting a healthcare specialty, interviewing well, and the best ways to transform theoretical knowledge into something practical for patients. Lest it get too annoying and upbeat, one of the chapters is titled “Picking up the Charred Remains after you Crash and Burn”, not too dissimilar from the section “Cutting your Losses” in the relationships chapter. Best of all, this project comes with a free audiobook version narrated by the author.  For the three Americans who don’t have Amazon to buy a paperback or Kindle version, purchase a similar Nook/iBook/PDF here:

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Bitcoin Cash Bullying Bitcoin

Posted by behavewellness on December 20, 2017
Posted in: Finance, Student. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

crypto

We’re not really going to talk about the title–it’s too much of a stretch from workplace bullying to competing cryptocurrencies. After all, you know a money maker has peaked when a blog like ours talks about it. We think the attraction to digital currencies on a blockchain is that the technology allows observable math algorithms to fairly solve problems and logistics that currently require subjective (or corrupt), expensive bureaucracy. A lot of the messages we’ve received lately ask questions like, “Can I invest in Bitcoin and make enough money to leave this lousy job,” and, “Is it possible to avoid all this student loan debt by buying cryptocurrencies?” One of our founders made a video today specifically addressing the second question:

Perhaps Bitcoin isn’t much of a segue from our usual topics–financial freedom allows you to walk away from a bad company, or at least make a job’s hourly rate only one factor out of many. Let’s say you’re comfortable in bed, watching a new show on Netflix, and it’s boring. No big deal, right? You reach for the remote–and realize it’s across the room. Trapped. Now this is serious. It’s the same with your career. A tolerable work culture becomes much less so if no other options exist.

There is no better way to make other people rich (like the state lotto) than to lurch desperately into a investment. Although we briefly considered a wellness blockchain, BEHAVE Wellness has no official or unofficial affiliation with any crypto currency or company. This sort of disclaimer is standard for discussions about stocks but virtually non-existent in the haphazard world of the blockchain, with new coins to tackle real and imagined problems appearing quicker than a child can spend tokens at Chuck E Cheese.

Alt coins, most of the worthless.

Especially for students, the key is not diversification beyond the four coins offered on Coinbase in exchange for American dollars, but simplification despite limited investment dollars. The technology is evolving so quickly that last month’s recommendations are already dated and obsolete. To store value and increase exponentially once hype fades, a coin needs real purpose and scarcity–Stellar and Ripple are compelling platforms with clear uses, but the presence of billions of coins can impact potential returns in the short term.  We’ll do our best to answer specific questions in the comments (the comment link is next to the tags below the post title), but remember that we can have a rational conversation about finance, or we can discuss Bitcoin.

 

 

Are you a Bullying Target or a Snowflake?

Posted by behavewellness on May 22, 2017
Posted in: Bullying, Student, toxic work environment. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

We were invited to talk about bullying in healthcare by our good friend and author, Kati Kleber. Increasingly, we’ve all been asked to address this by nursing students feeling powerless in the classroom and in clinical settings. Similar to interns and graduate students, the common thread is continual evaluation by others higher on the totem pole–who themselves may be bullied by their superiors. We incorporated much of the current literature in our discussion on FreshRN, and some of it is surprising (and vicious).

So are we saying that not every nurse is as virtuous as the saintly one above? Bullying is surprisingly common in helping professions, even in churches. The top five bullying behaviors nursing students experience are nonverbal innuendos, verbal affront, undermining actions, withholding information, and sabotage. As opposed to being shoved on the playground, this sometimes requires perception and awareness of the social environment to even realize it’s happening. That’s why bullying is so common and devastating in learning environments. From a personal standpoint, several of us can remember times where we had to choose between learning 100% of the knowledge we needed for the day or being charming and socially adroit, because both required total concentration.

One reason that toxic learning environments are so consuming is the concept of a “snowflake”–an overly sensitive, dogmatic person, as opposed to six sided crystalline ice precipitation. It’s important to consider how other students are being treated, and how distant reality may be from our perceptions of being bullied. This is where others come in, although Behave Wellness would be better suited for that than a college ombudsperson (what do they do anyway?) or hospital HR department. Not that anyone’s life has been changed through a blog comment, but tell us your story below and we will do our best to help. Any professionals you use should be familiar with bullying so they can give you wise and relevant advice.