If we had to describe BEHAVE Wellness in a word, it might not be “self-care”, but that would be high on the list, right after “attractive,” “effervescent,” and perhaps “intellect-searing genius.” An emotionally whole person who takes care of themselves doesn’t need us as often: it takes a truly toxic work culture or bullying relationship to require outside help. As our snowflake post revealed, living a life of offense makes compromise, teamwork, and tolerating weird people (including ourselves) a daily struggle. For further reading on self care, here‘s the article that inspired us, and check out our resources.

For both of our male readers, we should explain that a bath bomb is not a lethal explosive, but simply the evolution of the bubble bath.  They come in different scents (not flavors: BEHAVE Wellness strongly discourages the practice of drinking bath water).  Although they may feature the rich chocolate essence of bonbons, none of these scents are bacon, pine sap, or race car, so this concludes our explanation.

I stand corrected.

We believe self-care is an extension of the idea, “Pray not for lighter burdens, but stronger shoulders.”  Simply put, some conflicts don’t have solutions or a trusted adult to hold your hand. Waiting around for everything to line up right or a joyful ambush from happiness is an exercise in stagnation, not patience. Among our other titles and roles, we’re all nurse anesthetists at BEHAVE Wellness, and do you know the medical term for stagnation? Gangrene. Self-care absolutely involves exquisite moments of bliss, inspiration, and pleasure. It is also enforcing boundaries that displease others and sometimes saying difficult words like, “I was wrong and I’m going to make this right.” Hmm, that’s not quite as singable as, “Let it go!”.

Before you cancel that massage and mud bath appointment, or throw away the decadent ice cream, this is not a post about austerity versus indulgence. We want to expand the definition of self-care, not limit it. It’s just that doing what’s best for yourself doesn’t always feel good. On occasion, it meets the needs of others at your expense. Fulfillment is a journey, not a destination. You may grasp fleeting moments of happiness if you pursue it with wild abandon, but in the meantime you’ll cause heartache for anyone in your path.

What self-care techniques work best for you? Is it yoga? Eating right and exercise? Serving others? A scheduled time of Netflix & Chill as sacred to you as a weekly Sabbath? Let us know in the comments.